Page 2 of Bizarre Quotes | Quotes about Bizarre

Kannnadasan 07:19 Leave a Comment

Bizarre Quote #1

A blanket could be used as a tablecloth, and a brick left as a tip.?
Jarod Kintz

Bizarre Quote #2

A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call it a tarp, but I’d call it a trap. But I’ve already tried everything I can think of to silence the noisy neighbor kids, from mousetraps on lollipop sticks, to superglue disguised as lip gloss—and yet the shrieking continues.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #3

A blanket could be used as a tarp to cover an outdoor swimming pool the size of a bed. As far as training goes, swimming is such a snooze of a sport that I think more pools should be as bedlike as possible.
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #4

A blanket could be used as a trap to ensnare two entangled lovers. Using this method is how I found my current girlfriend and my new best guy friend.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #5

A blanket could be used as a TV screen. How? No—why? Even better—why not? Why not wrap yourself up in your favorite TV shows and let the screen warm your body and soul??
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #6

A blanket could be used as a warm topping on a hamburger, sort of like processed cheese, only tastier and healthier.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #7

A blanket could be used as a water purification device. Place it between a flowing water source and your storage barrel and let the blanket filter out impurities. Then after your water is pure, drop a brick in the barrel, and let the water molecules take on a brick-like structure. Drinking this water is a great way to build up your body’s defenses—especially from invading Mongol hordes from the north.
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #8

A blanket could be used as an American flag. It could keep the world warm with its patronizing patriotism and imperialism.
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #9

A blanket could be used as Concealment Revealer. It both conceals and reveals, like great dialogue. Here’s some great dialogue I wrote for two characters, Mr. Brick, and Ms. Blanket:?
Mr. Brick: I like your dress?
Ms. Blanket: I’m naked, you moron?
Mr. Brick: Tuesdays make me vomit. What are you doing one minute after Monday at 11:59 PM?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #10

A blanket could be used as one square on a giant checkerboard.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #11

A blanket could be used as wrapping paper, to give the gift of a cat.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #12

A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #13

A blanket could be used for a soft opening of a new casino. The softer the better, I always say. Well, I don’t always say that. I say other stuff too.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #14

A blanket could be used for anti-population-control purposes. Get naked and get under the blanket and I’ll show you how it works.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #15

A blanket could be used for political transparency. After all, what’s more see-through than a brick wall??
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #16

A blanket could be used for selfish reasons. I would list those reasons, but they’re mine—all of them. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #17

A blanket could be used in a secretive manner. What? I can’t just tell you how it could be used. What part of secretive don’t you understand??
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #18

A blanket could be used in exciting medical advancements, curing everything from shivers to tonitrophobia.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #19

A blanket could be used like a cat, if it were furry and purred.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #20

A blanket could be used like a giant piece of paper. Most people just want to cum on it, but occasionally someone will want to splash ink on it and try to impregnate the minds of the people.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #21

A blanket could be used like a Love Fleece. I imagine you’re shaking your head. Do you disagree? Fine, then when you’re shivering, I won’t ask if it’s because you’re cold—or because you’re lonely.
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #22

A blanket could be used like a trumpet could be used as a murder weapon. And if the cops ask you what I was doing on the night of June 6th, tell them I was in the corner, playing the saxophone like it was a piano.
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #23

A blanket could be used like cloud cover?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #24

A blanket could be used like Lenny McDenny says hello. He never says hi, because he only says goodbye. He’s always leaving and never arriving. I’m like that too, except I’m always arriving and never leaving. I also eat all the food in your fridge, and never leave when you ask me to. Why would I leave? Good food, good friends, and good food.
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #25

A blanket could be used like so many poor people get used and then thrown away like a sack of baloney that’s started to turn green. It’s sad really, when you consider all the sandwiches that could have been made out of all those poor people.
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #26

A blanket could be used like the Romans used Greek gods. Still, if you want my honest opinion, I’d rather pray to cheddar cheese than to Zeus.
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #27

A blanket could be used to aid a sinner’s nightly prayer. I’m not shaking because I’m cold—I’m trembling with trepidation over the Wrath of God.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #28

A blanket could be used to aid a waiter with bringing out a large order of beer. Those customers can drape themselves in soggy drunkenness.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #29

A blanket could be used to alert your guest when he’s overstayed his welcome. But what’s even more effective would be a flying brick at his forehead. Subtlety can be a bit soft, and can make it hard to differentiate between leave my house immediately and please, spend the night.?
Jarod Kintz
Bizarre Quote #30

A blanket could be used to alter the future. But so can setting your watch ahead five minutes. Trust me, I’ve been to the future, and I was late.
Jarod Kintz

You May Also Like

Recent Posts

Related Posts

Bizarre Quotes | Quotes about Bizarre

0 comments:

Post a Comment