Lawyers Quotes | Quotes about Lawyers

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Lawyers Quote #1

*Real Justice is only seen and done by those with clear conscious and who believes in the elements of Humanity.
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Lawyers Quote #2

?Laws are only words written on paper, words that change on society?s whim and are interpreted differently daily by politicians, lawyers, judges, and policemen. Anyone who believes that all laws should always be obeyed would have made a fine slave catcher. Anyone who believes that all laws are applied equally, despite race, religion, or economic status, is a fool.?
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Lawyers Quote #3

?Many laws as certainly make bad men, as bad men make many laws?
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Lawyers Quote #4

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."
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Lawyers Quote #5

A good lawyer knows the law;a great lawyer knows the judge......
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Lawyers Quote #6

A lawyer opens the door of his expensive car, only for it to be smashed off by a passing lorry. When the police arrived, the lawyer complains loudly about the damage: "just look what a mess that idiot made of my car!"...The police officer sighs. "You lawyers are so materialistic, it makes me sick. All you think about is your stupid car- you haven't even noticed that your left arm has been ripped off",
" My left arm??? OH my GOD!!! Where's my ROLEX???"
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Lawyers Quote #7

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.
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Lawyers Quote #8

A lawyer with a breif case can steal more then a million guys with guns
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Lawyers Quote #9

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is."

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.

The bookkeeper signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it the bookkeeper's temple and says, "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Lawyers...You gotta love 'em.
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Lawyers Quote #10

A man was driving down the road one day when he saw a priest with his thumb out trying to hitch-hike.
Thinking to himself "If I pick this man up it will get me some brownie points with the big guy himself." the man is kind enough to pick him up and give him a ride.
A few miles down the road the man can see a lawyer also attempting to hitch-hike, as most people would he turns towards the lawyer getting ready to hit him and then thinks "Wait a minute, I have a priest sitting in the back I would be sent to hell for sure!"
Thinking this the man turns away just missing the lawyer.
When the man looks back he notices that the lawyer is laying on the ground and bleeding. Instantly begining to freak out he begins to pray for forgiveness.
Noticing this the priest leans forward and says
"Don't worry my son... I opened my door and hit him with it."
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Lawyers Quote #11

A prisoner's shackles would always be a lawyers joy.
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Lawyers Quote #12

A Russian, a Cuban, an American businessman and an American lawyer were on a train traveling across Europe. The Russian took out a large bottle of vodka, poured each of his companions a drink and then hurled the semi-full bottle out the window.

"Why did you do that?" asked the American businessman.

"Vodka is plentiful in my country," said the Russian. "In fact, we have more than we will ever use."

A little later, the Cuban passed around fine Havana cigars. He took a couple of puffs of his and then tossed it out the window.

"I thought the Cuban economy was suffering," the businessman said. "Yet you threw that perfectly good cigar away."

"Cigars," the Cuban replied, "are a dime a dozen in Cuba. We have more of them than we know what to do with."

The American businessman sat in silence for a moment. Then he got up, grabbed the lawyer and threw him out the window.
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Lawyers Quote #13

An incompetent lawyer can delay a trial for months or years. A competent lawyer can delay one even longer.
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Lawyers Quote #14

Any mammal that lives in the dirt is either a mole or a lawyer!
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Lawyers Quote #15

Cherish every moment together,
Hold hands every chance we get
Right now is all that matter
In each others heart till the end

Smiles are what I'll keep with me
When life tears us apart
The future is what I'm afraid of
And finding a new place to start

But tonight is all that matters
As tears fill up our eyes
The day is almost over
And tomorrow is still a surprise.
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Lawyers Quote #16

Denying access to justice, is injustice
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Lawyers Quote #17

Doing justice is what make us human
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Lawyers Quote #18

Don't try to lawyer me out of common sense.
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Lawyers Quote #19

fool me once,
shame on you

fool me twice,
Shame on me
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Lawyers Quote #20

G00d Lawyer is a bad neighb0r.!
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Lawyers Quote #21

Give me five lines by the best of men,
and I will find something in it to hang him.
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Lawyers Quote #22

Great success, great progress, great achievement cannot be achieved without enthusiasm.
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Lawyers Quote #23

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
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Lawyers Quote #24

Hiring a Lawyer is like hiring a Troublemaker to deal with your troubles.
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Lawyers Quote #25

I don't like to get angry. It makes me angry.
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Lawyers Quote #26

If money decides the access to justice, the law will be a tyrant
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Lawyers Quote #27

In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,
"Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood and objecting to the ruling saying,
"Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others.

The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counselor, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said," Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fool?s Day.
Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'

Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.

Court is adjourned..."

You got to love the Judge that knows his scripture.
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Lawyers Quote #28

it's not what you do, it's what you get caught doing
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Lawyers Quote #29

It's only illegal if you get caught.
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Lawyers Quote #30

Its one of the main proffession, where lying is essential...
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