Page 2 of Abuse Quotes | Quotes about Abuse

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  • Abuse Quote #1

    ABUSIVE MEN COME in every personality type, arise from good childhoods and bad ones, are macho men or gentle, “liberated” men. No psychological test can distinguish an abusive man from a respectful one. Abusiveness is not a product of a man’s emotional injuries or of deficits in his skills. In reality, abuse springs from a man’s early cultural training, his key male role models, and his peer influences. In other words, abuse is a problem of values, not of psychology. When someone challenges an abuser’s attitudes and beliefs, he tends to reveal the contemptuous and insulting personality that normally stays hidden, reserved for private attacks on his partner. An abuser tries to keep everybody—his partner, his therapist, his friends and relatives—focused on how he feels, so that they won’t focus on how he thinks, perhaps because on some level he is aware that if you grasp the true nature of his problem, you will begin to escape his domination.

    Lundy Bancroft

  • Abuse Quote #2

    Addiction does not cause partner abuse, and recovery from addiction does not “cure” partner abuse.

    Lundy Bancroft

  • Abuse Quote #3

    After all I've done for you' has alienated more children from their parents than any act of parent cruelty.

    Dorothy Rowe

  • Abuse Quote #4

    After what she's been through, there really should be crime scene tape around her heart.

    John Mark Green

  • Abuse Quote #5

    Alcohol does not a change a person’s fundamental value system. People’s personalities when intoxicated, even though somewhat altered, still bear some relationship to who they are when sober. When you are drunk you may behave in ways that are silly or embarrassing; you might be overly familiar or tactlessly honest, or perhaps careless or forgetful. But do you knock over little old ladies for a laugh? Probably not. Do you sexually assault the clerk at the convenience store? Unlikely. People’s conduct while intoxicated continues to be governed by their core foundation of beliefs and attitudes, even though there is some loosening of the structure. Alcohol encourages people to let loose what they have simmering below the surface.
    ABUSERS MAKE CONSCIOUS CHOICES EVEN WHILE INTOXICATED

    Lundy Bancroft

  • Abuse Quote #6

    ALCOHOL HAS NO BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION TO ABUSE OR VIOLENCE
    Alcohol does not directly make people belligerent, aggressive, or violent. There is evidence that certain chemicals can cause violent behavior — anabolic steroids, for example, or crack cocaine — but alcohol is not among them. In the human body, alcohol is actually a depressant, a substance that rarely causes aggression. Marijuana similarly has no biological action connected to abusiveness.

    Lundy Bancroft

  • Abuse Quote #7

    All breathing, existing, living, sentient creatures should not be slain, nor treated with violence, nor abused, nor tormented, nor driven away.

    Mahavira

  • Abuse Quote #8

    All mental unhappiness is the avoidance of legitimate suffering

    Stefan Molyneux

  • Abuse Quote #9

    All people cross the line from childhood to adulthood with a secondhand opinion of who they are. Without any questioning, we take as truth whatever our parents and other influentials have said about us during our childhood, whether these messages are communicated verbally, physically, or silently.

    Heyward Bruce Ewart III

  • Abuse Quote #10

    All religions are good except when they try to resist nature.

    Aniekee Tochukwu

  • Abuse Quote #11

    All you care about is the control and power you have over me and I hate myself for giving that to you!

    Lydia Kelly

  • Abuse Quote #12

    Although the typical abusive man works to maintain a positive public image, it is true that some women have abusive partners who are nasty or intimidating to everyone. How about that man? Do his problems result from mistreatment by his parents? The answer is both yes and no; it depends on which problem we’re talking about. His hostility toward the human race may sprout from cruelty in his upbringing, but he abuses women because he has an abuse problem. The two problems are related but distinct.

    Lundy Bancroft

  • Abuse Quote #13

    Altitude sickness, unregulated drugs and medical gas enabled workers to become drug abusers/addicts

    Steven Magee

  • Abuse Quote #14

    Amnesia, which is a loss of memory, is a symptom of many different trauma and/or dissociative disorders, including PTSD, Dissociative Fugue, Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified and Dissociative Identity Disorder. Amnesia can affect both implicit and explicit memory.

    Ruth A. Lanius

  • Abuse Quote #15

    An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.

    Lundy Bancroft

  • Abuse Quote #16

    An insult bestowed on your interior and exterior personality; for causes beyond control, kills you innumerably, till the last breath.

    Aniruddha Sastikar

  • Abuse Quote #17

    Ana was a perpetual victim in a never-ending search for a victimizer.

    Travis Luedke

  • Abuse Quote #18

    And as she held me, I suddenly realized that my lifelong search for love and acceptance had finally ended in the arms of a foster parent.

    Dave Pelzer

  • Abuse Quote #19

    And could you, from a place of love, actually stand up and, use force, to give someone back, the suffering, they were trying to put on you? Would I do it? Maybe it would even be, an act of fierce compassion, as Enso Roshi sometimes talked about, to not take it any more. To not cow down, anymore. To let my father know, the tyrant, the aggressor, that if he hits me, I’m going to hit back, and hard.

    T. Scott McLeod

  • Abuse Quote #20

    And then there were men who were violently afraid of losing to a woman, the scariest men in the world. They become dictators, heads of state, bureaucrats, men with deadly weapons, they were everywhere. Sometimes she could pick one out with a look, but they were often charming, they had to have the power to attract in order to dominate.

    Haven Kimmel

  • Abuse Quote #21

    Anger is the immune system of the soul.

    Stefan Molyneux

  • Abuse Quote #22

    Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond who you were.

    Jonathan Anthony Burkett

  • Abuse Quote #23

    Another preoccupation fed into this dynamic relationship between discovery and denial: does sexual abuse actually matter? Should it, in fact, be allowed? After all, it was only in the 19070s that the Paedophile Information Exchange had argued for adults’ right to have sex with children – or rather by a slippery sleight of word, PIE inverted the imperative by arguing that children should have the right to have sex with adults. This group had been disbanded after the imprisonment of Tom O’Carroll, its leader, with some of its activists bunkered in Holland’s paedophile enclaves, only to re-appear over the parapets in the sex crime controversies of the 1990s. How recent it was, then, that paedophilia was fielded as one of the liberation movements, how many of those on the left and right of the political firmament, were – and still are – persuaded that sex with children is merely another case for individual freedom?
    Few people in Britain at the turn of the century publicly defend adults’ rights to sex with children. But some do, and they are to be found nesting in the coalition crusading against evidence of sexual suffering. They have learned from the 1970s, masked their intentions and diverted attention on to ‘the system’. Others may not have come out for paedophilia but they are apparently content to enter into political alliances with those who have. We believe that this makes their critique of survivors and their allies unreliable. Others genuinely believe in false memories, but may not be aware of the credentials of some of their advisors.

    Beatrix Campbell

  • Abuse Quote #24

    Appeasers will always try to get the least dangerous person to bend to the most dangerous person. This is one of the main problems in dysfunctional relationships. The more mature and rational you are the more you are victimized because, they are aware that you're not going to be as aggressive, destructive, or possibly as abusive and so you are the one who has to bend. You're the one who has to change and this constant rapping of rational people's souls around the prickly irrationalities of other people are what appeasers are constantly doing.

    Stefan Molyneux

  • Abuse Quote #25

    Arguments cannot be answered by personal abuse; there is no logic in slander, and falsehood, in the long run, defeats itself.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

  • Abuse Quote #26

    As a child I had been taken to see Dr Bradshaw on countless occasions; it was in his surgery that Billy had first discovered Lego. As I was growing up, I also saw Dr Robinson, the marathon runner. Now that I was living back at home, he was again my GP. When Mother bravely told him I was undergoing treatment for MPD/DID as a result of childhood sexual abuse, he buried his head in hands and wept.
    Child abuse will always re-emerge, no matter how many years go by. We read of cases of people who have come forward after thirty or forty years to say they were abused as children in care homes by wardens, schoolteachers, neighbours, fathers, priests. The Catholic Church in the United States in the last decade has paid out hundreds of millions of dollars in compensation for 'acts of sodomy and depravity towards children', to quote one information-exchange web-site. Why do these ageing people make the abuse public so late in their lives? To seek attention? No, it's because deep down there is a wound they need to bring out into the clean air before it can heal.
    Many clinicians miss signs of abuse in children because they, as decent people, do not want to find evidence of what Dr Ross suggests is 'a sick society that has grown sicker, and the abuse of children more bizarre'.
    (Note: this was written in the UK many years before the revelations of Jimmy Savile's widespread abuse, which included some ritual abuse)

    Alice Jamieson

  • Abuse Quote #27

    As a product of Anglo-Saxon-Protestant culture, I am familiar with its centuries-old tradition of hiding its abuse of women under pretty packaging.

    Lundy Bancroft

  • Abuse Quote #28

    As he had kissed her neck, she could not repress the feeling she was a lamb making time with a wolf.

    Thomm Quackenbush

  • Abuse Quote #29

    As I have explained in earlier chapters, abusiveness has little to do with psychological problems and everything to do with values and beliefs. Where do a boy’s values about partner relationships come from? The sources are many. The most important ones include the family he grows up in, his neighborhood, the television he watches and books he reads, jokes he hears, messages that he receives from the toys he is given, and his most influential adult role models. His role models are important not just for which behaviors they exhibit to the boy but also for which values they teach him in words and what expectations they instill in him for the future. In sum, a boy’s values develop from the full range of his experiences within his culture.

    Lundy Bancroft

  • Abuse Quote #30

    As long as we see abusers as victims, or as out-of-control monsters, they will continue getting away with ruining lives. If we want abusers to change, we will have to require them to give up the luxury of exploitation.

    Lundy Bancroft

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